It inevitably begins to fester inside and causes the radically fast train of life to become derailed in a commotion of anger, frustration, disappointment and the revelation you were so longing for is to be forsaken and walked away from (remember, now derailed, you think it will never come). 

You sit stunned, completely confused at how you possibly could have fallen into such a PIT, all the while, the fog your life was in suddenly seems clear and the hindsight, 20/20 vision, kicks in pointing out every small, intricate, minute step that took you to the derailed situation you ultimately have found yourself in. 

At first, the past seemed complete confusion, and a clear, solid focus was in hand. After you  derailed, the past is clear but you are completely lost in your destination, not even knowing how to pick yourself out of the muck, which, oddly enough, seems comfortable and moving is the LAST thing on your mind. You are happy in your oblivion of what is to come. Happy to sit, mope, and lick your self-inflicted wounds.

Maybe I'm the only one who has this issue, but it seems to happen far more often than it should. WHEN will I learn!!

Thankfully, God puts a burr under my butt encouraging me to get up, dust myself off, and begin anew. I turn my head to scripture and finally get what I was craving - true focus. Romans 8, a true path needing no addition to it, fills life with a clear focus that allows for the spirit to have a flood of refreshment finally flow over it. What once was entrenched and rotting in bitterness is softened, allowing for God to work in ones life.

Now does that mean the granite slab I was so slowly etching away has vanished. No, it's is still there. But I no longer seek to force what it is to reveal. Instead, I allow God to work on it, molding it with hands that can manage something has hard as granite as if it were soft putty. Amazingly, it begins to be revealed as something far more compelling than what I saw in my minds-eye. God's vision truly is something words do little to no justice. Same granite block, same longing and desires in my soul, but quenched in ways I never could have envisioned in my life, my understanding. So, life is something MORE, and focus is solid - solid as granite!

"12 Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation--but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, 14 because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.[g] And by him we cry, "Abba,[h] Father." 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." Romans 8:12-17

Although I have to admit, owning a design firm, you would think I would have done this some time ago. But, really, who has time? And I have ALWAYS been a closed-type person. "Don't get to involved, you might get hurt." Well, life has been tough, and my wife's recent jump into the blog-o-sphere has inspired me to begin as well.

Just as I was by Kim's blog, my hope is maybe someone out there will be inspired, who knows? In the past year, Kim and I have gone through a lot of tough times. Thankfully, God has provided an abundance of His grace on us. And even as I sit here, I can think of a dozen things that would encompass my thoughts, cause me to fall away for fear, and becoming a lump looking at where I am.

Stepping Up to The Plate

Yesterday, I listened to a sermon from Charles Stanley. The InTouch ministry has been one I have looked to many times recently. Pastor Stanley's message was one that really helped me last night. I was in a slump about all that was and is going on, and I really felt defeated about life in general. As I listened to the sermon, it occurred to me this perspective was wrong! I can't sit and wallow in self-pity looking on how life has been hard. Life is hard, not just for me but for everyone. And God isn't wanting us to look at our trials, but to Him. He is the only person that can overcome such situations as I am facing. LDF is a dream come true, and I am so thankful that God has allowed Kim and I this opportunity to actually do something like LDF. Of course, worldly viewpoints would tell me we are doing it ALL wrong. "Take out a loan! Get four or five credit cards, rent a location, purchase signs, billboards, TV ads!"

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying any of these (with the exception of the credit - my opinion on that will be saved on a later blog) are bad. And each of them will have a moment in time to come true for LDF. But from the beginning, LDF was developed as a sow and then reap concept. Work, then the benefits of that work come in, turn a little around with future work, and grow slowly over time. This is a principle LDF was founded on. 

But for a family that was laid off from a church position in one of our countries worst economic environments with no savings, a rather large mortgage, credit beyond my head, oh yeah, and a newborn, starting a business would be near to impossible. Good thing I have God on my side!

Still, with all these issues, they can plague the mind and rot the soul if I am not careful. And I find myself slipping back into such a mud puddle. But Stanley states in his sermon notes:

So what do I do? I continue on. I pick myself back up and go on towards what He has called me to do. Sometimes I only know what that is for the next hour, sometimes more. Until He reveals his purpose for us, we can be content in the fact: I am secure!